I want to challenge your thinking a little bit with this post, starting with a few questions for you to ponder about maternity care. Do you have the same goals for pregnancy/birth/parenting as everyone else in your community? Do you think you have all the same options? Do you live in the same bodies? Do you have the same health issues, resources, and connections?
Humans are certainly similar, but the nuanced differences between our goals, options, & bodies can make remarkable differences in how we approach pregnancy, birth, & parenting. There is no one right way to approach any of this that will fit everyone, and that is honestly one of my biggest issues with the factory line conveyor belt approach to it all. It is also one of my biggest frustrations with a medical system that critiques doulas for supposedly only pushing one way to do all of this as the system attempts to control every aspect of these parts of our lives without discussing the consequences of that tight grip on control. The best providers are flexible and want to understand what YOU want and what is possible for YOU within the confines of all the available options. As a consumer, it is up to you to know your options, know your body, & know what your goals are. Doulas help with two of those things.
Treating everyone within maternity care the same doesn’t work, especially in a system built for financial profit within a country that refuses to reckon with the racism baked into it. How does this affect you, your goals, and your options? (Side note: yes I have a PhD, but choosing affect vs effect still always makes me nervous!)
Personalized Maternity Care
Quite frankly, this is why personalized maternity care is so important! Feeling like a cog in a system that doesn’t care is no good for anyone, including the people who work within it btw. If your provider appointments are less than 10 minutes long and all of your concerns are not being addressed or are even being dismissed, you have to vote with your feet (and your dollars)! If your goals don’t align with your provider’s for your birth, then why do you stay with them? If they treat you like a number and don’t even remember your name, because they can’t even take the time to read your chart as they walk into the room, then are they even worth your time? Do they treat everyone the same or do they listen to your goals, talk to you about your options based on what is going on with your body, and then help you get where you want to be? Do you feel like you’re on a conveyor belt with your maternity care or do you feel CARED for in your interactions.
Yes, some of these are false dichotomies, but I want you to think about how you FEEL when you are with your maternity care provider. You may not have all the options to do what you want because of your situation, but having someone on your side to listen to your goals and help you meet them in the best way possible is going to go so far in helping you feel like a HUMAN, instead of just a number. You matter. Your goals matter. How you are made to feel through this hormone-filled process is more than likely going to stick with you forever.
Getting the Best Maternity Care
When it comes to your maternity care, be as demanding as you need to be to be heard! If this is your first major interaction with the healthcare system as a patient, some of what you might encounter is going to surprise you. Keep asking questions. Keep learning! We know it can all be really overwhelming, and we know you deserve so much more than conveyor belt maternity care that doesn’t consider your wants and needs.
