Are there better questions you could be asking at your appointments? Has this ever happened to you: the doctor just got done measuring the height of your fundus as your prenatal appointment and they turn to you to ask, “Do you have any questions for me?” How did you feel in that moment? Did you have a quick list of questions you wanted to ask them or did you feel like you were back in a classroom and the teacher just put you on the spot? Maybe it was somewhere between those two feelings, but no matter how you felt in the moment, knowing how to ask better questions and understand the answers will seriously help you feel more confident about your care from pregnancy through the 4th trimester and beyond.
What are some better questions to ask?
I really like the Mayo Clinic’s Week by Week Guide on what to expect at your appointments, especially because reading ahead can help you know what topics might be good to talk about with your provider. I like to tell our clients that they can write a list of questions in a note app on their phone and then edit it down to 3 specific questions before their appointment that can really only be answered by their very time constrained provider. Often paring down the list of questions you have is really challenging, but if I told you to ask ALL your questions in your appointment, then I would be setting you up for disappointment, because your provider doesn’t have time to answer all of that. Keep it short and simple, and know where to find good information outside of those appointments to form some better questions, more focused on what you need to know from their expertise.
Framing Your Better Questions
We want you to have GREAT conversations with your provider when it comes to your care! The way that you frame your questions can make a huge difference in how they answer them. When you are talking about risks, it’s especially important to ask better questions that elicit absolute risk answers rather than vague or relative statistics. (This video explains the differences well, in case that’s a new idea for you.) Here are 3 ideas of how to do that most effectively:
1. Ask for Absolute Risk Instead of Relative Risk.
– Instead of: “Does this test show I’m at higher risk?”
– Ask: “What is my absolute risk of this condition occurring, with and without intervention?”
– Why? A “higher risk” may only mean a small increase. Absolute risk gives you real numbers to make informed decisions.
2. Request Risk Data in Real Numbers
– Instead of: “Is this complication common?”
– Ask: “Out of 1,000 pregnant people like me, how many experience this complication?”
– Why? Phrasing it this way makes the risk more understandable rather than relying on vague terms like “rare” or “common.”
3. Clarify the Timeframe and Context
– Instead of: “Will this affect my baby?”
– Ask: “How does this risk change over the course of pregnancy, birth, or postpartum?”
– Why? Risks can vary depending on the stage of pregnancy, and understanding the timeline helps with planning and decision-making.
Why does it matter?
Understanding your care is important. Asking better questions can help you have a better relationship and more open communication with your provider. Being an active part of your healthcare decisions is important as a patient. Questions like these help you understand your risks and options better so that you can make more informed decisions, feel more confident and less anxious, helps you advocate for the care you need and deserve, and could improve your health outcomes. These are all really important things that when you’re pregnant and parenting, effect not only you, but your entire family, truly. Keep asking good questions about your care! Keep learning!
