Do you know a red flag when you see one? Do you know that your provider can make a world of difference as to the care that you receive? Doula story time: I get excited when I get to work with nurses more than once, because I honestly worry less. (FYI: not all nurses have had great experiences with doulas, which sometimes translates into more work for me to win them over.) I was honestly gobsmacked though, at how differently this nurse behaved with a different provider. It felt like a Jekyll & Hyde moment, or like I was somehow in the Twilight Zone. Here was this same nurse who had been really supportive of my client who wanted things a little outside of this specific hospital’s care routine standing there refusing to budge one millimeter from their standard protocols. This was the day that I learned 2 valuable lessons: 1. nurses are clearly brilliant at knowing what each individual provider’s preferences are. And then 2. sometimes provider wishes are centered over patient wishes. This newsletter isn’t about nurses though, in this newsletter I want to talk about some common red flags that sometimes get ignored with regards to providers.
Here are some red flags to watch out for with your provider:
- Dismissing your concerns is a BIG red flag! Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum can be scary, especially in a country where mortality and morbidity continue to rise related to this time in our lives. If you don’t feel like your provider is listening to you, leave (even in the middle of an appointment if you want to).
- Delaying conversations is a common complaint that we hear, and is directly related to #1. If you’re ready for a conversation, don’t let anyone tell you that you have to wait to have it.
- Discouraging questions & learning is something else we hear. While we agree that Dr. Google is a really terrible advice giver, not giving people good resources isn’t a solution. We’ve even heard of providers who say things like, “Don’t worry! We’ll tell you everything you need to know.” Umm, NO. That is a BIG red flag for me as a doula, and should be for you as a patient too.
- Lack of transparency is a BIG red flag that we see too often. Who shares call with your provider? Do they have vacations planned around your due date? What is their personal rate for cesarean, VBAC, induction, episiotomy, etc.? Transparency is part of a trusting relationship. How can they expect you to be transparent with them if they always bob and weave around the plain truth?
If any of these red flags are flying, then you should think about switching providers now, not later. Yes, I’m being serious. I promise, most people don’t regret switching, only that they didn’t do it sooner. You don’t have to keep seeing a provider you don’t trust or that makes you feel anything less than important. You are important. YOU ARE THE BOSS of your care. You hire your care team and they work for you. No matter what kind of insurance or health situation you have going on, you have options. Don’t settle for care that is less than excellent.
