Remembering in any season is challenging. This is going to be a tough one, so please take care of yourself if loss is challenging for you to read about at all.
Remembering in the moment was a challenge for me. When I got the call from my client, I was honestly confused. They had hired me as their birth doula early in their pregnancy, and their due date wasn’t close at all. I thought it was a call to ask me a question, but I wasn’t prepared for the sobs and sirens I could hear through the phone. My client was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital after her amniotic sac had ruptured completely at 19 weeks. That client, was the first that I ever supported through pregnancy loss, and I learned so much through that entire process, especially about the love we have for tiny humans that we never truly get the chance to meet.
From the time you find out your are pregnant, you start to shift things. Whether this is your first pregnancy or your 9th, your brain starts to think of the possibilities, of how your lives will change, and what this new tiny human in your life might be like. All of that shifts again, when your pregnancy ends, and in more ways than you might have ever anticipated.
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Remembering in October comes with the seasonal change for us here in the northern hemisphere too. Grief is a complicated amorphous thing that seems to change all the time while never really going away. In our culture, we spend so much time hiding from grief instead of embracing and learning from it. This October we honor those families who have lost a pregnancy and/or infant. The smallest people sometimes make the deepest imprints on our hearts, and you are not alone in your grief. Holding space for ALL your feelings, as they are completely valid. May the memories of those lost long before their time be a blessing to you as you learn to ride the waves of grief with compassion for yourself and others.
REMEMBERING IN SOLIDARITY WITH YOU.
Please know that remembering in our doula hearts is something we hold precious. I count precious all the names and hold the families that I have had the honor to be part of their grief journey as extra special in my life. I wish it
P.S. Bereavement doula services are something that we are happy to be able to offer for free, so if you or someone you know would like support, please reach out to us.
