What is the best tool you already have in your birth toolbox? There is honestly nothing like pregnancy to make you feel both wholly connected to your body and completely disconnected from it at the same time. All these wild changes are happening inside of you while you’re trying to plan for the future and figure out how to get this thing out of you at the same time that your life just keeps going. Here’s the secret I figured out during my first pregnancy: my body believes my mind. This has served me well for all of parenthood to be quite honest–my mind is my best tool. Spending the time to strengthen this connection between my body and mind has helped keep me calm in so many situations. I’d like to share an example of how I used this connection in my labor with you.
Utilizing the mind-body connection during contractions was invaluable for me personally. As I felt my contraction start to squeeze (mine started in my back and crept around to my belly button), I engaged my mind as my best tool. I would take a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth, and…
in my mind, I would think something like this:
Here we go.
I’m riding the wave of this contraction.
I feel it getting stronger and just keep breathing.
Moving my body reminds me that I’m still here.
I can do anything for one minute.
There’s the peak of it, wow I’m strong!
Keep breathing and sway your hips as it starts to let go.
All the way down back to the end.
Deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth.
Shake out those shoulders.
Now rest until the next one.
Your best tool
Your mind is a powerful tool. Connecting your mind and body will allow you to connect with your growing baby too. I am not saying that believing you can will mean that your birth will be perfect, but I am saying that coping with contractions and all of labor can be greatly improved by sharpening your mind and practicing relaxation/meditation techniques to convince your mind that you CAN do it, regardless of if you have medication on-board or not.
Learning the Calm Birth Method which focuses on breathing, meditation, and an inclusive way to prepare for ANY type of birth was such an amazing thing to do as a doula. I highly recommend this program to all of our clients, and we don’t even get a kickback from it! Calm birth focuses on staying present for your experience and focusing your mind no matter where your birth is happening. The meditations in this program go beyond birth to postpartum and parenting too.
Cultivating and strengthening your mind-body connection is worth your time, no matter how you choose to do it. Remember, what you practice becomes your skillset. Your best tool, and the one you can use for the rest of your parenting journey, is your mind. Finding ways to stay present and not get into the spiral of worries that can make you fearful is just good practice for all areas of your life too. What can you control and what do you need to let go? How can you get through one contraction at a time without trying to do the labor math of “omg it took this long to get to this dilation so how much longer is this going to be before we meet this baby?” One wave at a time. One decision at a time. You’ve got this.
